It's been a minute

Let's see, what have I been  up to? 

I'll try to make it as quick as possible. I feel like we haven't had much downtime lately, and that trend will likely continue in the near future. Last year, we stayed close-ish to home; at least staying within the United States. We did end up getting TSA PreCheck, which has been AMAZING. After I almost missed a flight out to my Staff Forum last October, we decided to sign up. It has been awesome! In hindsight, I do wish that we would have signed up for Global Entry instead, since we do a fair amount of international travel, but TSA PreCheck helps a lot for domestic travel. 

First, we spent Thanksgiving in Arizona with Colleen and her (err, our?? it's complicated..) family and took some fun photos in the wash for our Christmas cards

Me and sis with matching shirts

We had an amazing time with Colleen and her family. It was also nice to have some extra help with Mark.

We returned home for about ten days before leaving again for a wedding in Florida. The grounds, wedding, and reception were beautiful, however, as you can read about in the link, the caterer left much to be desired! Fortunately we had eaten before we went, since we had a feeling that we might be hungry. Other guests weren't so lucky!

Jay, me, Silvia & Brian at Villa Toscana in Homestead, FL

Despite the wedding debacles, we had an awesome time catching up with friends and making some new ones as well.

After the festivities were over, Jay and I headed south to Marathon for a few days to celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary. We didn't like the traditional anniversary gift for this year, so we decided to gift each other with experiences. My gift to Jay/us was a sailing lesson. Jay's gift to me/us was a package of private dance lessons with Dancing on the Shore. It was hard to fit them in, but we enjoyed the refresher. We're hoping to get back into some ballroom dancing!

Oh Captain my Captain

This was the view from the front of our beachfront apartment in Marathon. We stayed at Tranquility Bay in Marathon, and I can't recommend it enough. The entire experience was perfect and we hope to return with Mark in the next few years. After our last trip to Key West, we wanted a place that was a bit more low-key - still a place where you could go have a few drinks, but not such a crazy party atmosphere. We'll be back to Key West of course, but the middle keys seem to be more our speed these days. We also went diving in Key Largo, but that photo didn't download for whatever reason.

Obligatory Santa photo

This is my most favorite Santa ever, he's at the Salisbury Mall - this is the second time we've gone to him. He's fantastic.

Quick trip to New York

We made a quick trip to New York the weekend after Christmas to visit Jay's family. His dad was in the hospital, so we got to see him as well. This is one of the few photos where almost everyone is together in the last few years.

This is from early in the night of my company outing

For the second year in a row upon hitting our special number at work, my boss has rented a limo to take us out with our spouses/guest to Ruth's Chris in Annapolis. This year was quite the debacle and probably left a few people scarred. We had a great time though!

Ocean World in Puerto Plata

In February, we returned to Lifestyles Holiday Vacation Club in Puerto Plata for the first time since having Mark. They suckered convinced us to upgrade our timeshare to the Villa level, which is what we've always wanted. We've tried to book the villas before with our plain old vanilla Studio level without success. But now we can finally book the villa. It's obvious that they are continuing to upgrade and update the resort, and the actual city is looking better than it has in previous times, so I know that the company is improving life for their employees and continuously looking to update their properties. So we will be trying to get to the resort at least once every year or two so that we can take advantage of our membership.

 Outback Beach Safari in Puerto Plata

 My favorite beach at the resort - Serenity Beach

Mark with a new friend and a hermit crab friend in Puerto Plata

This is what happens when you can't reach the dog food at the bottom.

Shortly after this photo was taken, someone tipped out of the dog food container, which broke.

 Mark with his second (errr, third??) cousin & Jay's Goddaughter - "Baby Spatula"

I've always wanted to donate my hair - especially before I start to get too much grey in it. I noticed that my hair had been kind of gross, limp, and I was starting to get a lot of split ends. I have also been starting to find more and more grey hair. I decided that this is the time and cut it off. I donated about 10 inches of hair to Children with Hair Loss. 

Before

After - feels so light!

Other news -- after slowly grinding at the Beachbody thing for a while, I started getting discouraged and a little frustrated. I was never big on the whole MLM kind of thing, and messaging people to join my challenge groups, pushing Shakeology, etc, just felt fake to me. It was taking up a lot of time and I slowly realized that I had NO training or business really to be suggesting this crap to people. I was suggesting fitness programs to acquaintances and people who I hadn't evaluated, not to mention I'm not a medical professional. Yes, I love the programs and they work, but it didn't feel scientifically sound to me. 

So I sent a message to a friend who is a Certified Personal Trainer to get her take on whether I should get a personal training certification or a nutrition certification and she said BE CAREFUL about the nutritionist certification, because really only REGISTERED DIETITIONS can prescribe meal plans and that kind of thing. WHAAAAT?? Then WTF is Beachbody doing?? Makes me wonder if this whole coaching thing borders on being against the law with some of the stuff.

At any rate, I decided to up my game and become a Personal Trainer. You know, with all of my spare time. LOL. I'm not going to do too much with it probably - just do in-home training with a few people here and there, but I wanted something else to hold myself accountable.

For travel this year, I got an AMAZING airfare deal from DC to Brisbane for about $800 roundtrip (thanks to nextvacay.com, so I am actually heading out to visit my aunt next month, but just for a week. After that trip, we have no big plans this summer, then probably a long weekend trip to Idaho for my cousin's wedding, a bucket list trip to Oktoberfest in Munich, then 4 days in Prague (all with a group of about 24 friends). I come back for a few weeks and then I'll be at my company's Staff Forum in San Antonio, where I think I will be presenting some stuff. 

SOOO there's a lot going on this year! I'm tired just thinking of it.

In MUCH sadder news, my baby boy Draco had to be put to sleep two weeks ago. I was absolutely devastated and am still pretty sad about it. He was an amazing cat and I am really going to miss him. He was older and definitely in ailing health. I wasn't a fan of him pooping outside the litterbox and tracking litter everywhere, but I really thought that we had another few years left with him.

Piper is a bit more skittish without him around. I'm not sure how much she misses him, or if she's happy to be the only cat right now, but I think she wants another friend. I do really want another cat and I'm hoping that Jay will warm up to the idea. When I got Draco, what I really wanted was a Maine Coon. I chose him because he was allegedly a MC mix. He definitely had a lot of the same traits, like the chirping that he used to do at birds, and he loved to play in the water. 

Anyway, if I can convince Jay that we need a Maine Coon, I am looking at these two breeders:

RP Cathouse which is pretty close by, and Makanacoon who are in Virginia Beach. I've talked to them both and they have good quality cats. Either way, I wouldn't be bringing a kitten home most likely until the middle to the end of summer. I'm torn though, because I should really be getting a rescue instead. Maybe I'll offset my guilt with a donation to our local shelter. 

So I think that's it for now! I should really be off to bed, I am tired. :)

Thoughts and Prayers

After every shooting, I see an offer of "Thoughts and Prayers." I cynically posted a "Thoughts and Prayers" meme after the church shooting in November in Texas. I said "If only those people in Texas had prayed harder." One of my friends commented "REALLY!?!?!"  Social media has become an increasingly polarizing place. The anonymity of posting memes and arguing with friends and strangers online has taken out a human element of reasonable discourse. We say things on Facebook that we would rarely say to another person's face, let alone our friends. I have been trying to be better about doing this, and taking these conversations offline and out in public.

Here are some of the comments and suggestions I have seen along with my own "thoughts and prayers."

People need to do a better job raising their kids!

Some children live in one-parent households (for a multitude of reasons) and their parents are doing their best just to put food on the table. We don’t know their situation; maybe they shouldn’t have been parents or didn’t want to be a parent in the first place. Maybe they couldn’t afford birth control, or their partner left them after they got pregnant. Not everyone is cut out for parenthood and unfortunately some people only realize it after it’s too late. 

Let’s not forget the half million kids in foster care and their unique challenges. What do we do about those kids that get left behind? It is true that it "takes a village", and we all need to do our part to help out the kids that we see struggling. 

Some of these parents are doing everything they can to raise their kids right. Some children are born with antisocial personality disorder and don’t know the difference between right and wrong. There aren’t enough resources for the parents of these kids, and they also might have a hard time believing that there is something wrong with their child. Deinstitutionalization is another part of the problem, but that is a bag of worms for another day.

Teenagers can be insanely impulsive. As someone who was once a teenager, I can give quite a few personal anecdotes on this topic. According to researchers at the NIH, this is because teenage brains are in the process of maturing – their prefrontal cortexes are still maturing. The rational part of a teen's brain isn't fully developed and won't be until about age 25. As adults, we reason better, develop more control over impulses and make better judgments. This also makes me wonder why we are sending people to war without fully developed brains.

So while everyone is screaming mental illness, let’s be honest with ourselves – teenagers are impulsive and do stupid things. It's because they have developing brains.

If you see something say something! 

People do. Unfortunately, these systems fail as they did in Florida. Reports are now emerging that the latest shooter was reported to authorities multiple times. Also, not every incident is meticulously planned – some are impulsive teenage immature brain problems. There was also the 12 year old girl who brought a gun to school in her backpack. The backpack fell on the ground and discharged the gun, wounding 2 kids. That also puts to bed the "guns are inanimate objects" argument as well. They can misfire and accidents can happen. 

Video games and violent TV/movies/glorification of violence are the problem!
Study results have been inconsistent at best and have produced conflicting results at worst. Canada and Europe have many similar shows/movies/music, yet they don't have these problems. That said, those countries have some major differences: socialized medicine and strict gun laws. 

Mental Illness is the problem!

According to NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Health), approximately 1 in 5 adults in the US (43.8 million) experience mental illness in any given year. Certainly many of the mass shooters were suffering from mental health issues, but to say that anyone who has a mental illness will commit a violent crime is simply false. It creates even more stigma for those who suffer from these invisible illnesses. 

Our schools need more security!

There was an armed guard at Parkland High School. It is now reported that he froze in the situation and never went inside to confront the gunman. If this was a trained deputy, why should we expect better from armed teachers? Teachers are barely paid enough as it is for the work that they do. Most of them went into the profession to teach children, not defend them from armed maniacs. Assuming that the teachers would want to be armed, we would also have several officers carrying guns to protect each school entrance, of course we would also install metal detectors. 
Are we sending our kids to school or sending them to prison?

We already have gun laws / gun laws don’t work in Chicago/Baltimore/other place

While it is true that there are plenty of gun laws on the books, the inconsistency between state laws create a lot of problems. Due to lax gun laws in neighboring states, all it takes is an hour or less drive into a neighboring state to have someone make a straw purchase or even a legal purchase. 

On to facts.

Part of the reason that gun violence is difficult to study is because of the Dickey Amendment of 1996, which ties the hands of the CDC and prevents them from using Federal funds to “advocate or promote gun control.” The NRA pushed for this amendment at the time, after researchers had produced studies that suggested that having a gun in the house increased the risk of homicide and suicide (spoiler alert: it does). 

Since 1968, more than 1.5 million Americans have died in gun-related incidents, according to data from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. By comparison, approximately 1.2 million service members have been killed in every war in U.S. history, according to estimates from the Department of Veterans Affairs and iCasualties.org, a website that maintains an ongoing database of casualties from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. For the record, this number includes suicides. 

There were nearly twice as many suicides involving firearms in 2015 as there were murders involving guns, and the rate has been increasing in recent years. Suicide by firearm accounts for almost half of all suicides in the US, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. A 2016 study published in the American Journal of Public Health found there was a strong relationship between higher levels of gun ownership in a state and higher firearm suicide rates for both men and women.

More guns also means that more police officers are killed. Researchers looked at federal data for firearm ownership and homicides of police officers across the US over 15 years. They found that states with more gun ownership had more cops killed in homicides: Every 10 percent increase in firearm ownership correlated with 10 additional officers killed in homicides over the 15-year study period (American Journal of Public Health).

Here’s another data point: Although we hear a lot about AR-15s and “assault weapons” during mass shooting incidents, most murders caused by guns involve handguns (FBI). The nature of semi-automatic weapons like the AR-15 makes it easier for mass shooters to take out a large amount of targets in a short time frame, due to accuracy and lack of recoil. This said, the truth is that these types of weapons statistically cause fewer deaths than handguns.

Proposed Solutions

Store your weapons securely. Guns should be secured unloaded in a biometrically locked gun safe, with a trigger lock engaged. If not in a gun safe, all guns should have a trigger lock device installed at all times. There are now biometric trigger locking devices available. If all gun owners followed these procedures, it would reduce unintentional injuries and deaths. 

Repeal the Dickey Amendment to allow the CDC to study gun violence. It is truly a public health crisis. Let's study it and create solutions that are backed up with scientific data.

Congress should pass legislation requiring universal background checks. That would close federal loopholes on background checks at gun shows and other private sales. Additionally, anyone who would like to own a firearm should pass a skills test showing that they know how to properly use their weapons and that they have the knowledge necessary to be a safe gun owner. This would be similar to the training already required for those obtaining concealed carry permits. As a part of this, a firearm registry could be created so that gun sales can be tracked. The registry should be able to be accessed by mental health professionals, school counselors, police officers, and anyone else who would need the information in their professions to “red flag” someone as going to hurt themselves or others.

Congress could also limit the number of guns that can be purchased by one person in a period of time. They could also raise the age limit of all gun purchases. It would be nice to say 25, as per the earlier immature teenage brain, but at least increase the age to 21. Lawmakers could toughen penalties for straw purchases. Mass shooters often carried more than one weapon; one was found with 24. At least 167 weapons of mass shooters were obtained legally and 49 were obtained illegally. It’s unclear how 76 weapons were acquired.

Institute a gun buyback program. The cost is not too much. With each mass shooting, schools are renovated or torn down and rebuilt, costing tens or hundreds of millions of dollars. How much is a life saved worth? How much do you value your life? Your child’s life? Another loved one? Your neighbor? What about the people in your community?

Although I personally don’t believe that anyone needs semi-automatic weapons, I do recognize that some people really enjoy guns. I believe that certain weapons should require an increased level of scrutiny or “extreme vetting” if you will. The folks that want weapons like the AR-15 should face closer scrutiny than someone who is hunting deer with their bolt action rifle. Perhaps congress needs to specify classes of firearms with screening procedures for each.

I recognize that America is a unique country. I would love to say that America can simply enact the same kind of wildly successful gun regulations that Australia has: 28 day waiting periods, thorough background checks, and a requirement to present a “justifiable reason” to own a gun. Their gun buyback program meant about a million guns went back to the government and were destroyed. 

The problem is that in America we have a gun for every person. However, it is estimated that less than one third of Americans own a gun. So one third of Americans own an estimated 320 million guns. What do you do with that? It’s hard to shut the barn door after the horse has already left the stable. 

Even though the horse has already left the stable, we have to do something and we have to start somewhere. The number of guns in this country has roughly doubled in the past 50 years. Perhaps 50 years from now the changes that we make today will have made a meaningful impact. I hope that my grandchildren never have to fear being gunned down in the classroom or on the street.

I live in a rural area with a big gun culture. I know families here who rely on hunting to provide food. Guns are a way of life here. We need hunters to control our wildlife population. Trust me, you’d wish that Bambi had been killed before she ran in front of your car. 

What it really comes down to is do we value our guns more than we value the lives of children?

I am in awe of the kids from Parkland who have started this movement and discussion. It's sad to say that fear seems to be the only effective motivator for change, but it appears that it is. The NRA pushes fear based motivation all the time: "bad guys" are coming after you. The Democrats are coming for your guns. 

It is both terrible and inspiring that it has taken children to stand up and say that they are tired of being slaughtered in their classrooms for anyone to do more than send "thoughts and prayers." 

My thoughts and prayers: March for Our Lives will be the falling of small stones that will start an avalanche.

The Election

Now that it's over and I've had some time to lick my wounds, I am going to strive more than ever to practice random acts of kindness, and stand up for others.

A Change

My first blog post here was on April 10, 2012. In line with what was currently happening with our Home Improvements and all of the insanity that living in a construction zone entailed, I called it “Home Adventures and Unfortunate Incidents.” At the time, that was pretty much what was going on in our lives. Drama with the renovations, navigating being a quasi-newlywed – all of those things.

I’ve almost always had an online presence.

Starting in the early 90s I had a 14.4k dial up modem with a 386mhz processor DOS-based computer and all there was to log on to was a local BB. After that came IRC. Then AIM. I even created a website for a boyfriend's band back in the mid-90s. It was all HTML and I put a lot of work into it. Back in those days, people were pretty paranoid about the internet (hell, I guess many still are). The other band members freaked out and I had to take it down. I started my first website/blog on the Tripod platform in 2003. It’s actually still there (and no, I'm not giving you the address.)

However, I will give you a picture.

I miss that hair and that youth. Oh girl, what I could tell you.

Then there was Myspace, then blogging my 101 list in 2007, then Facebook. I feel like Facebook has contributed to the overall dumbing-down of society, the same way that those old chain letters and emails did. No, Bill Gates is not going to send you money, nor is there a Nigerian Prince who will share his fortune with you. Obama isn't Muslim. Vaccines don't cause autism.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

Over the years, I would like to think that I have matured. A bit, at least. I spent a few minutes reading my old website and blog at Tripod... I think those entries are representative of how I have matured in the last ten+ years. I would share some, but they are too embarrassing!

This name change better reflects my current outlook on life in general. Plus I have a domain name now, so that's cool, right?

Unexpected Adventures is how I have come to see everything in my life over the past year or so, and also how I am making it work. This is true in all aspects of my life - work, home, and travel.

My Unexpected Adventures:

Work

I made a big jump back into the financial world nearly three years ago after leaving a fairly new position and coworkers that I liked. There have been challenges to overcome, but it was a great opportunity that has paid off for me. I also learned that I was pregnant several days after giving my notice at my old job. I don’t post much about it. I put in plenty of hours there and I don’t want to think about it when I’m not working! The only anecdote that I’ll share is that every day at work is a spelling bee.

Home & Family Life

I have a kid now, which I still find strange at times. Becoming a mom (especially a working mom) has brought with it all of the usual trials that one might expect. But it has also focused me on what really matters and has made me rethink my time commitments. It is fascinating to watch the development of my child from day to day, week to week, month to month, and now year to year, as he nears his second birthday. It is truly the most unexpected adventure of all, as I get to share the world with him. Honestly, I’ve probably learned more from watching him. Last weekend, he was overjoyed with bubbles.

I wish that I were that enthused about pretty much anything! Having a kid has also changed the dynamics of my marriage. In some ways, it has brought us closer together, but in others I think it has made our relationship more work. I'm probably a little too excited to go to Mexico later this year without little Markface.

Travel

About ten years ago, I didn’t understand why anyone would travel with kids, or want to travel with kids. I thought that they should just be polite to other travelers and not bring children on airplanes. It’s funny how your perspective changes once you find yourself in that situation. I posted that I wanted to not have my child totally consume my life, and traveling is how I'm continuing to live the life that I want. Sure, it's more difficult with a kid in tow. But life doesn't just stop because you have a kid. The first two years have been tough. The first year is exhausting. The second year, they're more mobile and you're just trying to keep them alive. As my girlfriend Sara has said, the kid just lacks any sense of self-preservation. Especially from about 14 - 22ish months. We had our first ER trip a few months back because he took a header down the stairs.

So for partially that reason, we haven't done much traveling this year, or taken him to any place too crazy. He has finally started to listen to us, so I am hopeful that when we go back to Australia next year that it won't be as painful as previous trips. Also, bribery is beginning to work on him, so I see that as a good thing!

All of that said, welcome to my Unexpected Adventures.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy. 

On this World

I wanted to rant on social media about this, but the blog is a much better outlet. I don't know whose mind I would change at any rate. But seeing people post awful things is breaking my heart. Closing borders? Really? So apparently they'd like us to be like North Korea? No disrespect there, DPRK and Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un, please don't show up on my doorstep.

I keep thinking of Sam and Frodo's exchange in Mordor from LOTR:

Sam: I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo… and it’s worth fighting for.

On to what I wanted to post on Facebook:

I have seen so much hatred, racism, and xenophobia on social media these last few days (years if I'm being honest). I'm not saying that I'm perfect or PC all the time: after all, I live with white privilege and was born in the USA. I don't have the same perspective as others.

I'm glad that we live in a country where we can question our government and each other without the fear of being imprisoned or stoned to death. So many of our fellow Citizens of Earth look with envy to our elections where leaders are changed regularly, without bloodshed. I'm glad that we all get a vote in that process, even if I don't agree with you. And if you don't vote, shame on you! 

Our fellow Citizens of Earth want what we all want - a chance at life and happiness.

Yes, there are those that wish us harm, but there are plenty of those people who were born here in the good old USA. It's true, like some psychopaths here, some of those "outsiders" have evil hearts (well, mental illness at least.) Others' hearts and minds have been twisted by promises that they or their families will be taken care of if they attack innocent people. If you can't afford to feed your family, what wouldn't you do for them?

Today, I choose hope over fear. I choose to live my life instead of fearing that which I don't know or understand. Why should I let terrorists steal my joy? Their entire purpose is to instill fear in our hearts. 

We can't let them.

Despite many people's beliefs that we are going in the wrong direction, I think future generations are going to do great things. I see evidence of it every day. The high school that I attended just crowned two Special Olympic Athletes to be their Homecoming King and Queen. These kids are inspiring. They are making this world better.

Make a decision to live and not exist. Help others where and how you can and remember that we are all part of the Human Race. 

Today I was feeling powerless to do anything other than speak up when I saw a social media post that I didn't agree with. I got home from work to find an aptly timed letter from VGIF looking for donations. I can't solve the world's problems, but I can write a small check that will actually have an impact on another person's life. Having been involved with their organization, I can attest that their funding truly does make a difference in recipients' lives. If you're feeling powerless, and can afford to donate time or money, I encourage you to donate to VGIF or a similar cause.

There, I feel better already.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. - Max Ehrmann, Desiderata

Still alive... barely!

So the new job, new puppy and studying have been taking a toll on me. There are also some other things going on, health and family-wise. So add all of those things together and the blogging just hasn't been happening.

One day each week I have a 12+ hour day where I go for work and training in another office. So there is the high intensity of my new position, an average of two hours a night studying for my Series 7, the puppy and trying to eat dinner. And family drama. And trying to still have some time for my husband. Oh, and a lot of insomnia. By the weekends, I am completely drained. Eventually I will attain the knowledge I need, but there are a shit-ton more products than I'm used to - even though I am experienced in the field, it is way more intense than my old positions. Part of me is wondering what the hell I was thinking, but on the other hand, I am being challenged and I know I'll never get bored. There will always be something new to learn!

This has been my mantra recently.

All of that said, the last month has more or less sucked, to be honest. The weather has also not been helping much... all I want to do is hibernate. Between the weather and being tired from the studying/job/puppy/insomnia, I've been anti-social. Going out or seeing people is the last thing I feel like doing right now... if I have any "free" time, I'm spending it napping (with the puppy, that's more attempting to nap) or hanging out with Jay.

And this. I must be mindful of this. I'm feeling very unbalanced in my life right now. I've never tried meditation, so I think I'll be giving it a try. Perhaps it is what I need! Here's hoping for a more upbeat post next time.

Wordless Wednesdays - How I'm feeling

First World Problems

Remember when I was feeling out of sorts a few months back?

I'm feeling a little stressed at the moment. But in a good way. Today I met with the person about the job opportunity I mentioned in the aforementioned post. I didn't think that the person was going to be able to provide me with a reasonable offer. So I wasn't worried about our meeting today. In fact, I was completely unprepared for our meeting.

As a matter of fact, this week I told Jay that I felt a little bit guilty for wasting the person's time. After all, there's no way that he could possibly compete with my awesome benefits at my current job.

When we were setting up our meeting, my possible future boss said he was going to make me an offer I couldn't refuse. 

And then he did. Or he at least has given me a LOT to think about.

I have a few weeks to give him an answer. He wants me to start January 1st. It's bad timing, as my  vacation is scheduled during the second week in December. I'm also considering taking a week off between jobs. And then there is the annual Christmas bonus, which I doubt that I'll get if I'm leaving. 

I don't want to leave my present employer in a bind. And I really love my new boss, our Regional Medical Director. I also really like the directors and the people that I've made friends with here. I'm finally starting to fit in, I think.

But then there's no chance for advancement here. Unless I wanted to go work in the Baltimore offices. 

Am I happy plugging along in a fairly simple job, where I have to deal with jerks fairly frequently (just had someone today whining about their schedule)? I make a good wage and have excellent benefits, except for vacation. Or do I take an opportunity where in just a few years, I may be working in a managerial capacity. Definitely more skill involved with this position, and I'll have to get my Series 7 license pretty much right away. But I'll also get an extra week and a half off. And a slightly shorter commute.

My possible-future-boss did tell me that I was free to call my position whatever I wanted. So that's kind of fun. He said that as long as I get Registered Assistant next to my name ASAP, he doesn't care what I call my position. 

With this offer, I've felt a bit like my friend Kelly who has joked about having a four leaf clover shoved up her ass. When so many people are unemployed or underemployed, I find it a little overwhelming that someone has sought me out for this opportunity. The whole process has been more like a reverse interview.

So if I go through with all of this, it means that I'll probably end up scrapping that Social Work degree and going for my Business Administration degree. 

First world problems, I know. 

Thankful?

I’m sure that by now you have seen the “Thankful” posts on Facebook with everyone giving thanks for their spouse, children, job, pet, etc. Sure it’s a nice sentiment. But really shouldn't people be grateful all year long?

Call me cynical, but I find the exercise to be a little ridiculous. I’m not saying that it’s not a nice thought… we could all use a little reminder each day to think of what we are thankful for.

My main problem is with the folks who bitch and complain on Facebook 11 of 12 months out of the year, and whine between their thankful posts.

Or miss the point entirely. I’m sorry, but “feeling meh” and a thankful post don't go together to me:

Laura and I were at Punkin Chunkin over the weekend when I went on my rant about the thankful posts. She thinks that it's kinda hard to think of things to be thankful for each day. There are only so many family members and friends to be grateful for. This is inevitably what everyone posts about during the first week, then after that they run out of people and have to start doing some critical thinking.

Then the conversation devolved into talking about how grateful we are for bacon and butter.

Bacon and butter conversations turned into a 30 day thankful for challenge on Instagram. Food thankfulness only. Follow me.

The first few days: bacon, wings, eggs, loaded mashed potatoes.

I am pretty sure that I could find something to be thankful for every single day of the year, so I have a reminder on my phone each day at noon. Each day I'll think about what I'm thankful for. But I’m probably not going to post about it. Or maybe I will. But it won’t be posting about it in November during cliché thankful season.

If I post about being thankful, it will be in March, when it is cold, rainy and muddy, and I’m sick of winter.

Remember to Breathe

My massage therapist (who is also a Reiki practitioner) said that she's noticed an "energy shift" with people lately.

It's no secret that I've felt a bit unsettled since I returned from Australia. Apart from my deep thoughts about my career and school, there's been a lot going on that I haven't blogged about. However, I've been a little bit better about letting the family drama go these days. 

This week, Kelly posted about some things going on with her. I could totally relate. Lately, I've had so many thoughts about what I should be doing and when I need to be doing them. Being completely overwhelmed with decisions. Not enjoying the moment. Not appreciating now. 

Her post made me think of a quote that I saw on Windtraveler  a month or so ago.

The quote is from a poem, Desiderata, by Max Ehrmann. Go read it.

There is so much wisdom in this poem. It grounds me and brings me back to here and now.

Which is exactly where I should be. I just need a reminder every now and then.

Out of sorts

Hello fellow readers. All five of you! 

I’ve been sick, out of sorts, and pulled in many directions. I also had an overwhelming amount of fun (including a random meeting of Kelly's sister) over the weekend. So I'm still a little tired from last weekend's shenanigans. I hope to post about my crazy fun weekend, but alas I have no photos! That may be for the best, as it involved swimwear and a floating cooler. 

But I digress.

Lately I’ve found my life defined by quotes from the Lord of the Rings. I make no apologies for my use of LOTR references in this post. Consider yourself warned!

“They’re scattered, divided, leaderless.”

My thoughts are scattered. There has been a lot to think about lately. Just a few weeks ago, I thought that I had it all figured out 

Shortly after writing about my deep thoughts, I sent my application and transcripts to Chesapeake College to start the process of getting my BA in social work.

Last Wednesday, I talked to someone about a job opportunity in the financial services industry. It would be similar to the work I did at my last job with Wilmington Trust.  It wasn’t an interview - just a chat to learn about the position and the person’s vision going forward. Aforementioned person heard that I’m an ideal candidate for the position. It was a nice ego boost for someone to approach me about a job when I’m not even looking.

Like I said in an earlier post, I like my current job. I don’t love it because I feel like I’m not making much of a difference. This particular opportunity would in some ways let me make a difference. Helping people achieve their financial goals makes a difference. I can get behind that.

However, I’m not the kind of person who would leave their employer after such a short period. I also don’t know if this opportunity is the right fit. There is definitely a lot of risk involved. My current position is stable and has awesome benefits. There is also a new regional director coming onboard next month who I think is going to be great to work with. But I have been leaderless since July, and I’ve felt a bit afloat here despite the local directors calling me  “Boss.”

"I'm old, Gandalf. I know I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart. I feel thin, sort of stretched. Like butter scraped over too much bread."

  

Then there’s that 4 year degree on my bucket list.  If I ultimately decide to pursue the financial services position, do I get my business admin degree, which I’m not all that excited about… or do I proceed with my BA in social work?  Ultimately I can go on to get my MSW. Maybe I could even knock out my MSW before 40 if I work really hard. It’s only 7 years away, I have to be realistic.

Perhaps I have career ADHD. Or regular ADHD. Or maybe it’s just my personality: 

What ENFP’s are actually searching for, however, is more mental in nature, such as words, ideas, or possibilities (i.e., Ne). ENFPs are constantly generating new ideas, associations, and quips. They can often seem random, scattered, distracted, and flighty and, rightly or not, are commonly diagnosed with ADD or ADHD.

Like other NP types, ENFPs place high value on their personal experiences when it comes to discerning truth. Though not to the same extent as ESFPs, for ENFPs, “experiencing is believing.” Because of the high value they place on their personal experiences, ENFPs may feel they cannot fully know themselves until they have tried just about everything (contrast this with INJs, who feel they know whether they will like something without needing to experience it). For this reason, ENFPs are quintessential seekers and dilettantes, wanting to experience as much of life and the world as is humanly possible. In many regards, the interests and aspirations of ENFPs are infinite. This can be nothing less than exhausting for those trying to stay apace with them.

I think that’s enough seriousness for now. 

  

“We dwarves are natural sprinters! Very dangerous over short distances!” 

This weekend I’m running my first 5k. I slowed my progress a few weeks ago, thinking that I would still be finished the program in plenty of time. Then I got sick and missed a week and a half of runs. Then I hurt my knee. Then I read an article that said to avoid injuries, run faster. Of course I couldn’t keep up with my fast pace and had to walk a lot. Like Gimli, I’m a natural sprinter.

And you know what? I am way faster doing a walking/running combination than I am running at a sustainable pace. So I’ll be walk-running this 5k. I have one run left before Saturday and I’m going to try to get my endurance up. That means running the entire 25 minutes of my Week 7 Day 2, but at a slower pace. I’m not sure what I’ll do on Saturday, but my main goal is to finish in 45 minutes or under. I think that is more than doable.

I’m not sure that running will be my main exercise after I complete the C25k program (on pace to finish on or around September 22^nd) but I will probably try to run once or twice a week in addition to other exercise. In a perfect world, I’d like to do a combination of yoga, pilates, running, swimming and elliptical each week. With some ballroom dancing thrown in. Jay and I were talking about taking lessons again since we had such fun learning scuba together. Of course he’s all into MMA at the moment. So perhaps the ballroom dancing will have to wait.

Oh, and look at the message that my tea gave me today:

I feel like I'm a little too much into experiencing myself lately. I think that I need to get out of my own head a bit. 

Well said, Bilbo. Some time off would be swell. Who wants to tell my boss that I need a mental health week?