Wordless Wednesdays - How I'm feeling

Checkout Dives

This weekend I will knock another goal off of my 101 list.

Forget 6 feet under, I'll be more like 40 feet under. 

We're also camping for the first time in a few years. We set up the tent this week to make sure that we wouldn't look like complete fools in front of our new diving buddies. 

I'm hoping for no cell service this weekend. I need to get away and decompress. 

Life has been stressful this week and I think that the peace of nature will bring me back to where I need to be. Floating along weightless under water is calming as well.

My prescription for relaxation this weekend:  8 hours in the car with my hubby, The Hero of Ages, four trips underwater, campfire s'mores, and perfect fall weather. 

Wordless Wednesday

Hey, I just met you... but this could kill you!

Well, there must be something going on around the Blogosphere (or maybe my Atkins buddies) because my friend Kelly had a bit of a health scare a few weeks ago.

It looks like it’s my turn! I’ve been doing Atkins for seven weeks now and have lost 12-ish pounds. The first week I felt weird, but I attributed it to being an out of balance electrolyte thing. I had some chicken stock and everything was fine. Clearly the diuretic effect of the Atkins diet is screwing with me. Or maybe it was just the Atkins flu. 

Fast forward to last weekend where I was completely miserable. My throat was disgusting. My tonsils were enormous and covered in puss. I considered sharing the photo on the blog, but decided that was just TMI. So, I showed the photo to one of my doctor friends at work and she told me that I needed to get antibiotics. On Saturday, I took my sick butt to Your Doc’s In. The PA took one look at my throat and burst out laughing, “YEAH! You NEED ANTIBIOTICS!!” I told her that I knew that already.

Then she says, “There must be some mistake… you say that you’re not on blood pressure medication.” I said no, my blood pressure is always low – 110/70. She shakes her head and says, “No, you’re hypertensive. Your BP is 140/110. Are you sure you aren’t on any blood pressure medications, because you should be.” I convince her that it must just be because I’m in so much pain. My discharge papers list my first condition as hypertension instead of the strep throat that I came in with.

Great.

So I’m thinking this must be some kind of mistake. For the last month and a half, I’ve been dieting and exercising my ass off, have lost weight, and now I’m hypertensive?

So all this week I’ve been stressed about it and my chest has felt tight. I chalk it up to anxiety. I still think that a lot of it has to do with anxiety. If I could just freaking relax, it would be better. But now the seed of doubt has been sowed and every weird pain or tightness doubtlessly sends my blood pressure into stroke country. Which makes me more anxious. Which makes my pulse race and my blood pressure skyrocket. 

It's a vicious cycle.

Earlier this week, I mentioned my doctor's office experience to my friend at work Grace, who also happens to be the ED manager and my favorite coffee buddy. 

“That’s really high. You need to check it. Landra is in triage, ask her to check it for you.”

I suppose that I inherited some of my dad’s stubbornness when it comes to health problems. I’m in denial. Oh… and yes, my dad suffered from high blood pressure. So my denial is stupid, since I know these things can be genetic.

So of course, I put it off. Grace asked me again today how my blood pressure was. I sheepishly told her that I hadn’t had it checked.

She hauled me out to triage and checked it herself. It was 133/105. Still high. She said that it’s the diastolic (bottom) number that is the concern moreso than the top. She gave me a bit of a lecture on how important it is that I take this seriously. Consider me admonished.

I think that it may have something to do with my sodium intake. I also mentioned it to my boss, who agreed that the high blood pressure could be due to my excess ingestion of sodium. Looking back through my LoseIt app, I’ve been consuming between 500 and 1000 more mg of salt than is recommended. So I’m going to be reducing my sodium intake big time. Hopefully reducing my sodium to a normal level will make my blood pressure decrease to something that won’t kill me. Like back to my usual 110/70.

That said, I’ll be checking my blood pressure each day at work and I’ve agreed to call my doctor next week if it’s not lowered by then.

Fingers crossed that salt is the problem. If not, I suppose that genetics are finally catching up with me. Which sucks, since diabetes also runs in my family. 

On the bright side, at least I work in the ER where medical help is only steps away!

If you don’t have anything nice to say…

Don’t say anything at all.

That’s pretty much why I haven’t been posting lately. My goal to remain positive this year has been a challenge to say the least.

But I’ll at least start with the positives –

I’m on the launch committee for the Women’s Club of CarolineCounty. It has been a HUGE success! People are really excited about it and I’m happy to be a part of such a fabulous group of ladies. 

I am also on the committee for the Mardi Gras Masqued Ball. Last year I helped out with the event, but nowhere near the extent that I have this year. We’ve made a lot of changes to the event this year and if it’s continued, I’m thinking that we will probably make more changes next year. It has been a lot more work than I was anticipating. Hence the changes for next year!

I’ve been inspired by Kelly at Miss MP Blogs in her weight loss journey. I’m going on a diet next week. I had been good with exercising and tracking food, but between my stupid toe (more on that later), stress, having crap in the house and everything else... well, it hasn’t been good for my waistline. So I’ll use Lent as my excuse to diet. I haven’t decided if I’m doing South Beach or Atkins, but my plan is to go low/no carb for at least a month. This means no drinking, which will be a challenge for me. I love wine. We are also having a chocolate and wine tasting at the end of the month for Women’s Club. I haven’t decided if I’m going to cheat, but it is tempting.  

Things are moving along with our trip to Australia and New Zealand. I’ve been looking into all of the fun things I want to do in Australia. I can't wait to visit my Aunt Nancy first and foremost! Then cuddle a koala , visit the Whitsunday Islands, and snorkel the Great Barrier reef. Of course I would really love to dive with a huge crocodile, but getting to Darwin will require too much travel for our limited time.  In New Zealand, we're planning to visit Hobbiton , visit the Waitomo Caves, and simply walk into Mordor. We haven’t booked our flights yet, but are planning to do so soon.

Now on to the not so positive:

My stupid ingrown toenail. It keeps getting infected and has been the bane of my existence since mid-November. I’ve been on four different antibiotics (two simultaneously for the past week) and a revision where they went back in and dug out the crud. I haven’t been able to wear decent shoes in forever! The double antibiotics seem to finally be working. It appears to finally be healing!

My mother. Her issues are making me crazy. Suffice it to say that we do not have a normal relationship, but more like I am the parent and she is the child. She is looking for someone to rescue her and I am done with being her emotional and financial life raft.

My in-laws. They also have issues. They were staying with us because they were kicked out of their house (for good reason). We had to boot them out of ours last weekend because of something they were warned not to do. Certain behavior will not be tolerated nor enabled in our house. They slunk down to Florida (after we paid for them to get down there), where my father-in-law lied to his brother and said that they had to leave because of “difficulties with Lauren.” Um, yeah. You now DO have “difficulties” with me, jerk. They stayed with us for eleven days after saying they would only be here for a “day or two.” We bought them food and sheltered them and they repaid us with lies and deceit. Not making that mistake ever again.

Work. It has been busy and frustrating lately. One of my coworkers stirred up unnecessary drama which caused me to have a complete meltdown a few weeks ago. Our locums providers (essentially temp doctors) that are supposed to be helping us out are instead causing huge headaches with the schedule. And as usual, many people take out their frustrations on me.

Death. I'm sad to report that a wonderful person is gone from this world. Karisa died  a little over a month ago and left a big hole in our community. We thought that we would have more time with her. Spread the word about Karisafication. In honor of Karisa and Stacey, and for many others whose lives have been impacted by cancer, I am participating in a cancer prevention study.

And taxes. It turns out that DC didn't withhold enough taxes from Jay’s paycheck. If my calculations are correct, we are going to owe taxes. Possibly a substantial amount of taxes, which might mean a tax penalty in addition to what we owe. Jay is always telling me how much $$ all of his buddies at work get in tax refunds. I would LOVE to see their returns to crunch the real numbers. In all likelihood, they’re either claiming 0 on their W-4 or they’re tax cheats. Jay is always telling me about something new that we can write off. I really don’t see how we have enough tax deductible expenses to amount to the $11,900 standard deduction (for married filing jointly). Yes, we can write off our dry cleaning expenses for your uniforms… that’s what - $200 maximum a year? If that? Phone usage – even if you can prove it legally, that’s about $1644 a year. Honestly I do use my phone more for work and charitable reasons than pretty much anything else lately. And yes, we do make charitable contributions, but not anything too crazy. And I could technically write off my trip to NYC for my VGIF board meeting in October. However, back to the firefighter write-offs. The big problem for most tax professionals is the meal fund. Some firefighters will use the per diem meal rate as a deduction. In DC the amount is $71 a day and would amount to almost $6,500 a year. To me, it screams “PLEASE AUDIT ME!!”  Legally, you may be able to deduct some meal expenses, but not the $6,500 variety. If we had receipts for those meals, I would be more inclined to do it. But in reality, the amount ends up being $1,000 a year. Not worth the audit, IMO.

My girls. We are down two chickens and I have no idea what happened to them. One (Maeve) went missing a few weeks ago and the other (Lily) went missing this week. We’ve cased the neighborhood with no luck. So now we have seven hens and that jerk of a rooster, Mouse.

I also really suck at writing thank you notes. My cousin Emily  sent me a crafty and thoughtful Christmas gift and I have yet to send her a thank you card. And my girlfriend Angela gifted us the coolest freaking chicken print that I can’t wait to hang up. Once it’s in place I need to take a photo. And send a thank you card.

So there's your lengthy catch-up. Here's to hoping the next update is far more positive!!

Wordless Wednesdays - Time to Panic

Wordful Wednesday

I had planned to do a wordless Wednesday post, but it didn’t quite work out. This past week has been particularly difficult. Then again, it's been difficult for everyone.

I feel ashamed to even mention my in-laws in this post, but they do cause me a lot of anxiety and frustration. They (my FIL and 2 BIL’s) have been staying at our home since last Friday, so that really puts a damper on my mood. These aren’t the kind of normal in-law frustrations that people have. These particular in-laws have serious issues and they should NOT be staying at our house. Fortunately, they leave tonight.

On Friday, I learned that a drama buddy from high school has stage 4 adrenal cancer. Karisa is two years younger than me and has two young kids. I don’t know why these things happen to good people like her. Some people have created the Karisification community on Facebook. Please make sure to like it, even if you don’t know her.

Then last but not least, the Newtown Shooting. What can I even say about it? I still feel sick to my stomach. The gun-loving conservatives are saying to arm the teachers. Really? The thought of arming teachers terrifies me… most teachers I know aren’t exactly the type that I would want around guns (nor would they likely WANT to carry a gun). The United States needs to take a cue from Australia when it comes to mental health care and guncontrol laws. 

So light a candle, meditate, say a prayer, hug your loved ones, do something good for someone else.

Fall Fun

The last few weeks have been incredibly busy, and it's only going to get worse. Fortunately the end is in sight - I have nothing planned for the first weekend of November, and it is going to stay that way!

My girlfriend visited with her kids and hubby last weekend. We had a fun-filled weekend of pumpkin picking, alpacas, the Renaissance Festival and of course the Things game... or as my girlfriends and I call it, "Things in a box." Because, you know, it comes in a box. Duh.

Jen pulling Annabelle in the wagon while carrying Caroline... supermom!

Annabelle being silly

Oh hai! Wanna go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch!! (okay, I saw it on a meme)

Muffin has ears

This baby loves Phil... he's the alpaca whisperer (and also the owner of the alpaca farm)

Our game of things in a box and Jay carrying in the milk from Nice Farms Creamery.

 The products from Nice Farms are sooo freaking delicious. I've been buying their milk and yogurt for a few weeks (since the party). They recently announced that they are now making butter as well... I can't wait to smear some on fresh-baked bread. I've taken a bit of a break from baking over the summer. Now that the weather is cooler, I'm finding myself yearning for hot french bread out of the oven.

The reason I took the photo of Jay carrying the milk is because our chickens follow us everywhere... they think that they're dogs. They kind of are, I suppose. They come running when you call them and even come running when they see my car pull up. We give them treats and they're constantly underfoot and trying to sneak into the house. Naughty chickpoos.

Tim taking Annabelle down the slide at Ren Fest

Jay and Tim throwing pointy things... what goes better together than beer and sharp objects?

Nom nom nom oyster shooters! This is one of my favorite parts of Ren Fest

Late afternoon Mouse

One of my coworkers/old neighbors stuck this in interoffice to me. It totally made my day. This is me and my neighbor Neil in 1985. My dad made me my costume (looks like my antenna broke!). I love the duct tape on my wings... thanks, Dad! :)

This is one of my favorite fall activities...reading in front of the fireplace. :)

Hot mulled cider with rum enjoyed with good friends at Harry's on the Green 

Even my straw is happy, look at his smiling face!

There's a lot going on at work, home and pretty much in every aspect of my life right now. To be quite honest, it sucks. Work is busy and I've had some problems with the physicians' holiday schedules. Like getting emails so nasty that they make you cry kind of problems. It hasn't been fun. My volunteer position with the group in NYC hasn't kept me as busy lately, I think others have stepped up in my place because I'm not getting nearly as many emails or as much harassment. It's been nice. I'm supposed to go to the board meeting in NYC next weekend, but I really don't want to go. Since I'm stepping down, I don't feel like I have much to contribute, and I'm just tired of dealing with anything involving the group.

This weekend, Jay and I will be going to New Castle, PA to investigate Hill View Manor  with some of the celebrity ghost hunters. This is our fifth event and we're getting antsy to form our own group and go out on our own. We've grown more skeptical in our investigative tactics, so I hope that we get some crazy evidence this time. We used to be huge believers in the "flashlight test", but then realized that it's often just a malfunctioning flashlight. We did use the flashlight test in our own home and came up with some pretty wild results, but I think it requires more testing. I think it could possibly be used as an effective technique IF controls were put in place - using 3 flashlights, asking to light up certain flashlights, asking control questions and the like. 

I wish I had more time for things like ghost hunting!

That's all for now... maybe next week I'll have some scary ghost pictures to post. ;-)

Woosah

I need some time to unwind and de-stress. It’s been a crazy busy few weeks/months. I’m feeling rundown and stressed out. I love my new job, but there is still a learning curve to contend with. It’s not a difficult job by any means, but it’s pretty different from anything I’ve done before. I’m also the treasurer for a great non-profit, but they are going through some major growth right now, and while that is wonderful for the organization, it’s not so wonderful for me. There are lots of questions and lots of paperwork coming at a time that I need to be sending out wires for grant recipients, plus all of the stuff going on at home. I no longer have any “free time” at work, like I had when we were going through the MTB merger. I also have a board position with the arts council (which I absolutely love and I could hardly call stressful). I’m so overwhelmed at the moment that I just want to break down and scream. Or cry. Or some mixture of the two.

So between the new job, non-profit jobs, the house rehab/garden/farm, being a new-ish wife, and still trying to have some kind of social life and be a good friend, I’m kind of stressed out. I think that what it boils down to is that I need to learn how to say no.  

My NY in-laws (God love ‘em) have a habit of changing their plans every five minutes, so you have no idea what is going on with them until they’re knocking on your front door. Originally, my MIL had planned to visit us sometime while my SIL was visiting from AZ. Okay, that sounds great. Well that plan ended up ridiculously convoluted and I was cleaning like a madwoman after finding out that we weren’t getting my MIL at all that day, but my BIL and niece. Then my MIL and Nana (Jay’s grandmother) decided to come over after all the day after my BIL and niece came over. I consider myself a pretty laid-back person, but I’d like to know when we’re going to be having guests at least a few days (preferably weeks) ahead of time. It would just be nice if I had a little notice and I knew who was coming – and when they were coming, and how long they would be staying. Is that too much to ask?

My SIL Colleen (who is thankfully someone who plans ahead) arrived on Tuesday and is staying for two weeks. Jay is off gallivanting with his buddies at a bachelor party in WV. We are having a great time in his absence – Whino Wednesday at Harry’s on the Green, last night we went to the library, Clayton Farms, and then had an adventure at the auction in American Corner.

I had planned to take Colleen out tonight and show her a crazy eastern shore redneck bar, but we’re going to lay low instead. I really need some downtime. So tonight we’re having a nice dinner, drinking wine, and watching bad tv. Maybe we’ll get wild and have a mealworm frenzy with the chickens.

I can’t wait to go home and relax. I’ve earned it. Maybe I’ll even get a chance to take a bath in our Jacuzzi tub sometime soon.