A New Commitment

This is what 6 weeks of hard work and learning how to eat healthy food looks like

Twelve Pounds and Ten Inches gone 

I’ve struggled with my weight and body image for a great deal of my life. I’ve always attempted to be active with varying success and have been “donating” to the local Y for 7 years. Dieting has caused me to gain and lose the same 10-15 pounds over and over again (with Medifast & Atkins), because it wasn’t sustainable.  I gained 40 pounds over the past 10 years (not including my pregnancy, which put me into the 60-70 lb range).

Around my birthday, Gina Notes (a friend of my cousin-in-law Meg, that I met at Pat & Meg's wedding) sent me a message asking if I wanted to join a health and fitness Challenge Group. I had been giving some serious thought to my health and weight lately, as I had just lost and regained the same 5 pounds in the last month. I have hypothyroidism and have been on medication for years – the condition makes it harder for me to lose weight, among other things. Diabetes also runs in my family, as does high blood pressure and cholesterol, which have both been steadily creeping up over the years.

I had recently seen some Facebook posts from an old classmate who had recently undergone an amazing transformation with the 80 Day Obsession program. After being inspired by her, I decided to say yes to Gina and commit to my health.

I joined her April challenge group and completed one round of the 21 Day Fix program without straying from the program at all. At the end of those 3 weeks, I had lost 7” and 7 pounds. Since then I have lost an additional 3” and 5 pounds by (mostly) following the Fixate healthy meal plan. It’s not easy. At the end of the 3 weeks, I had a few cheats. And then Memorial Day weekend happened, and I had more cheats.

The truth is that I felt like crap after my cheat days. My body felt wrong and I felt guilty. I have changed my mindset with my cheats. I now consider them a treat instead of a cheat, and I don’t overindulge. If you know me, you know that I love food and eating. I’m now just trying to eat the right kinds of foods now and to find some balance in my diet. 

All of that said, instead of drinking the Kool-Aid, I’m officially drinking the Shake-O. It’s true, I’ve decided to become a Beachbody Coach. I just ordered Beachbody's new 2B Mindset Nutrition program and will be trying that out along with some of their other programs (I'm pretty pumped for their LIIFT4 program - just four days a week AND a cheat day??? I LOVE IT!!).

I still have another 20+ pounds to go to get back to the weight I was ten years ago, but my biggest goal is to just keep eating well and staying active (pushing play as the BB Mantra goes). 

Don't worry, I'm not going to become a crazy Beachbody person who is constantly posting sweaty selfies on Facebook and Instagram. I'm just looking forward to helping others on their journey. I've always thought that I was pretty disciplined and could do anything that I set my mind to. It turned out that I needed a tribe, positive words, encouragement, and the daily accountability of checking in to my challenge group. Even better, the workouts are 30 minutes or less a day. It's not rocket science. Anyone can do it, and I love that there is a program for everyone.

So I'll be starting my own challenge group in the next few weeks. There is an early access to the LIIFT4 program that starts in July that I think I will do. I'm really not looking at this as any major way to earn income - I just want additional accountability for myself and to support people who need it. I think that this will satisfy my long-held desire to inspire others and help them reach their full potential. 

My why: helping others makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, and as a a slightly older mom, I want to be able to keep up with my kid for many years to come. 

Final Numbers on SNAP Challenge

I'll be posting my update and thoughts soon. Wednesday - Sunday were a bit of a whirlwind for me, so I didn't have a chance to post.

At the end of the week, it kind of fell apart due to my boss picking up lunch and a last minute invitation to hang out with some friends. So the chicken that we'd planned to have for dinner on Friday ended up getting nice and dried out by the time we'd gotten home. In an effort to not be wasteful, we will be shredding that and using it for burrito/taco night.

All of that said, using my super scientific calculations, I managed to stay under budget and kept my family fed for each meal that we ate. Approximate spent $58.60. Total meals = 40 x 1.58 = $63.20.

Were they all healthy? No. Were they all quick and easy? No.

Here is my final list... I'll be posting a modified recipe for this Baked Polenta and Pepper Sauce. It's budget friendly and quite tasty.

Food	Final/Adjusted Price	Price
Pasta (Spaghetti)	$0.88	$0.88
Peanut Butter	$2.74	$5.48	*10.96 at BJs for two GIANT jars
Jelly	$0.49	$0.97
Frozen Broccoli	$0.00
Pasta Sauce	$1.50
Rice (2 lbs)	$0.75	$1.49
Black beans	$1.79
4 progresso soups	$1.50	$6.00
Bananas	$2.49
Whole fryers (2)	$0.00	$10.90
Cornmeal	$0.35	$1.38
Ground turkey	$5.92
Sausage	$2.99
Honey nut Os	$0.84	$1.68
Mozzarella	$4.93
Cheddar	$2.47
English muffins	$2.00
Oatmeal	$0.82	$1.64
Whole wheat bread	$2.68
bell pepper (2)	$2.68
Gevalia Coffee	$3.85	$5.84
Coffee Creamer	$1.25	$2.49
Peas (frozen)	$0.00	$0.98
Fresh strawberries	$2.28
Plain yogurt	$5.48
Canned crushed tomatoes	$1.50
onions (bag)	$0.49	$1.97
Lettuce	$0.55	$0.99
Milk	$3.50
Sour cream	$0.84	$1.68
Eggs	$0.00	$2.49
Ramen - case of 24 for $8.28	$0.35	$8.28
Tomatoes w/ Chilies	$0.69
	$58.60
	Me	Jay	Mark
Sunday	2	1	2
Monday	3	2	2
Tuesday	3	2	2
Wednesday	3	0	2
Thursday	3	2	2
Friday	1	1	1
Saturday	2	2	2
	17	10	13
	$1.58	$1.58	$1.58
	$26.86	$15.80	$20.54	$63.20

On this World

I wanted to rant on social media about this, but the blog is a much better outlet. I don't know whose mind I would change at any rate. But seeing people post awful things is breaking my heart. Closing borders? Really? So apparently they'd like us to be like North Korea? No disrespect there, DPRK and Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un, please don't show up on my doorstep.

I keep thinking of Sam and Frodo's exchange in Mordor from LOTR:

Sam: I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo… and it’s worth fighting for.

On to what I wanted to post on Facebook:

I have seen so much hatred, racism, and xenophobia on social media these last few days (years if I'm being honest). I'm not saying that I'm perfect or PC all the time: after all, I live with white privilege and was born in the USA. I don't have the same perspective as others.

I'm glad that we live in a country where we can question our government and each other without the fear of being imprisoned or stoned to death. So many of our fellow Citizens of Earth look with envy to our elections where leaders are changed regularly, without bloodshed. I'm glad that we all get a vote in that process, even if I don't agree with you. And if you don't vote, shame on you! 

Our fellow Citizens of Earth want what we all want - a chance at life and happiness.

Yes, there are those that wish us harm, but there are plenty of those people who were born here in the good old USA. It's true, like some psychopaths here, some of those "outsiders" have evil hearts (well, mental illness at least.) Others' hearts and minds have been twisted by promises that they or their families will be taken care of if they attack innocent people. If you can't afford to feed your family, what wouldn't you do for them?

Today, I choose hope over fear. I choose to live my life instead of fearing that which I don't know or understand. Why should I let terrorists steal my joy? Their entire purpose is to instill fear in our hearts. 

We can't let them.

Despite many people's beliefs that we are going in the wrong direction, I think future generations are going to do great things. I see evidence of it every day. The high school that I attended just crowned two Special Olympic Athletes to be their Homecoming King and Queen. These kids are inspiring. They are making this world better.

Make a decision to live and not exist. Help others where and how you can and remember that we are all part of the Human Race. 

Today I was feeling powerless to do anything other than speak up when I saw a social media post that I didn't agree with. I got home from work to find an aptly timed letter from VGIF looking for donations. I can't solve the world's problems, but I can write a small check that will actually have an impact on another person's life. Having been involved with their organization, I can attest that their funding truly does make a difference in recipients' lives. If you're feeling powerless, and can afford to donate time or money, I encourage you to donate to VGIF or a similar cause.

There, I feel better already.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. - Max Ehrmann, Desiderata

Out of sorts

Hello fellow readers. All five of you! 

I’ve been sick, out of sorts, and pulled in many directions. I also had an overwhelming amount of fun (including a random meeting of Kelly's sister) over the weekend. So I'm still a little tired from last weekend's shenanigans. I hope to post about my crazy fun weekend, but alas I have no photos! That may be for the best, as it involved swimwear and a floating cooler. 

But I digress.

Lately I’ve found my life defined by quotes from the Lord of the Rings. I make no apologies for my use of LOTR references in this post. Consider yourself warned!

“They’re scattered, divided, leaderless.”

My thoughts are scattered. There has been a lot to think about lately. Just a few weeks ago, I thought that I had it all figured out 

Shortly after writing about my deep thoughts, I sent my application and transcripts to Chesapeake College to start the process of getting my BA in social work.

Last Wednesday, I talked to someone about a job opportunity in the financial services industry. It would be similar to the work I did at my last job with Wilmington Trust.  It wasn’t an interview - just a chat to learn about the position and the person’s vision going forward. Aforementioned person heard that I’m an ideal candidate for the position. It was a nice ego boost for someone to approach me about a job when I’m not even looking.

Like I said in an earlier post, I like my current job. I don’t love it because I feel like I’m not making much of a difference. This particular opportunity would in some ways let me make a difference. Helping people achieve their financial goals makes a difference. I can get behind that.

However, I’m not the kind of person who would leave their employer after such a short period. I also don’t know if this opportunity is the right fit. There is definitely a lot of risk involved. My current position is stable and has awesome benefits. There is also a new regional director coming onboard next month who I think is going to be great to work with. But I have been leaderless since July, and I’ve felt a bit afloat here despite the local directors calling me  “Boss.”

"I'm old, Gandalf. I know I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart. I feel thin, sort of stretched. Like butter scraped over too much bread."

  

Then there’s that 4 year degree on my bucket list.  If I ultimately decide to pursue the financial services position, do I get my business admin degree, which I’m not all that excited about… or do I proceed with my BA in social work?  Ultimately I can go on to get my MSW. Maybe I could even knock out my MSW before 40 if I work really hard. It’s only 7 years away, I have to be realistic.

Perhaps I have career ADHD. Or regular ADHD. Or maybe it’s just my personality: 

What ENFP’s are actually searching for, however, is more mental in nature, such as words, ideas, or possibilities (i.e., Ne). ENFPs are constantly generating new ideas, associations, and quips. They can often seem random, scattered, distracted, and flighty and, rightly or not, are commonly diagnosed with ADD or ADHD.

Like other NP types, ENFPs place high value on their personal experiences when it comes to discerning truth. Though not to the same extent as ESFPs, for ENFPs, “experiencing is believing.” Because of the high value they place on their personal experiences, ENFPs may feel they cannot fully know themselves until they have tried just about everything (contrast this with INJs, who feel they know whether they will like something without needing to experience it). For this reason, ENFPs are quintessential seekers and dilettantes, wanting to experience as much of life and the world as is humanly possible. In many regards, the interests and aspirations of ENFPs are infinite. This can be nothing less than exhausting for those trying to stay apace with them.

I think that’s enough seriousness for now. 

  

“We dwarves are natural sprinters! Very dangerous over short distances!” 

This weekend I’m running my first 5k. I slowed my progress a few weeks ago, thinking that I would still be finished the program in plenty of time. Then I got sick and missed a week and a half of runs. Then I hurt my knee. Then I read an article that said to avoid injuries, run faster. Of course I couldn’t keep up with my fast pace and had to walk a lot. Like Gimli, I’m a natural sprinter.

And you know what? I am way faster doing a walking/running combination than I am running at a sustainable pace. So I’ll be walk-running this 5k. I have one run left before Saturday and I’m going to try to get my endurance up. That means running the entire 25 minutes of my Week 7 Day 2, but at a slower pace. I’m not sure what I’ll do on Saturday, but my main goal is to finish in 45 minutes or under. I think that is more than doable.

I’m not sure that running will be my main exercise after I complete the C25k program (on pace to finish on or around September 22^nd) but I will probably try to run once or twice a week in addition to other exercise. In a perfect world, I’d like to do a combination of yoga, pilates, running, swimming and elliptical each week. With some ballroom dancing thrown in. Jay and I were talking about taking lessons again since we had such fun learning scuba together. Of course he’s all into MMA at the moment. So perhaps the ballroom dancing will have to wait.

Oh, and look at the message that my tea gave me today:

I feel like I'm a little too much into experiencing myself lately. I think that I need to get out of my own head a bit. 

Well said, Bilbo. Some time off would be swell. Who wants to tell my boss that I need a mental health week?

 

Wordless Wednesdays